Random thought on Hope -- and a bit of grace from God

2 Chronicles 30; part of verse 18 into 19 and 20

¹⁸  ..."May the LORD, who is good, pardon everyone ¹⁹ who sets his heart on seeking God—the LORD, the God of his fathers—even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary." ²⁰ And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.

Even a sinner like me has hope I guess.

Aerial of a Downward Sort

Take a deep breath ...

My mind is racing today, and I thought I saw a cliff ahead.
Life is a waterfall, sensations of weightlessness tempered by the morbid realization of inevitable impact.

My mind is racing today, and I think I see a cliff ahead.
Expectations give birth to so much disappointment, But what is life without a hopeful eye to the future?

My mind is racing today, ever closer to the edge.
I have no fear of death. My fear is that those I love will embrace the hand of the same demon.
I fear a life alone. Ultimately though, we are all alone, are we not? Never able to share what burns within.

My mind is racing today, but I can't see the cliff anymore.
I have turned my eyes from God only to turn my head back, and he not be there. Now I spend my days searching all the places I once saw him, hoping for his embrace once again.

My mind is racing today ... to the brink ... over the edge ...


Levity, however brief, or false
Bliss, however fleeting
Apathy, however selfish
Self pity, however indulgent
Solitude, however destructive

Tumbling downward
Longing
Rejection
Smiles
Laughter
Tears
Anger
Rage
Scars
Love
Forever
Never
Wind
Impact

Quotes that might help ...

Music 

Music Expresses things about the human experience so specifically, in such specific ways that when you attempt to find language to describe it the words fall short. ... Music expresses things about the human experience that cannot be expressed any other way. That's why it is so important."

 Matt Glaser in Ken Burns' documentary "Jazz"

Self pity

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

 D. H. Lawrence

 

Indecision

"During the Civil War, a man had trouble choosing a side. He couldn't decide between the North and the South. So he wore a blue coat and gray trousers ... They shot at him from both sides."

 Billy Graham

Say what?! Surely you don't believe this? (right ladies?)

"Men are taught to expect their woman to do everything for them. And women are taught to subjugate themselves to what their men want." That is an actual quote from a good friend of mine. She told me that came from a conversation she had while living in a dorm during undergrad. One of her roommates expounded those as lessons given to her by her matriarchal figures.
 Hmmmmmm ...

Can I call bullsh*t now, or should I wait? I don't know what the women in her family are like, but I now my mother, my sisters, my grandmothers, aunties, cousins, hell the neighbors! To say it would be ill advised for the men in the family to carry those expectations is as much of an understatement as saying you will get a bit of a shock if you stick a screwdriver into an electrical socket.

Alright. I know my family's constructs are not the end-all/be-all. Since I am a man, perhaps I don't have the appropriate perspective on the matter. So, is this view on relationships a valid one ladies?

I'm tempted to try the Noah's Ark method of polling to get my answer. You know, ask a black woman, a white woman, an African woman, an American woman, a 20-year-old, a 40-year-old, etc. ...

The Sherrod incident ... a bigger statement on race or Journalism

Watching MSNBC's "Morning Joe" earlier. They were having a round-table discussion on the fallout from the Shirley Sherrod/ USDA/White House/Fox News/Breitbart scandal when an interesting question was raised.

Is the main lesson to be taken from this mess more about the state of race relations in America? Or is it more of a statement on what journalism is becoming (or has become) in this country? Is it more of an affirmation of how much further we have to go with race relations? Or is it more proof positive of how far the profession of journalism has gotten away from ethical standards like vetting and verifying and getting both sides of a story?

I must admit, I am conflicted.

The Lion's Fiery Mane (Part 1)

At Times we all suffer from a lack of intensity. Like a fire deprived of fuel, our embers gray, dim and dull. Dreams dry into dust and slip away with the breeze.
Let us not forget the blanket of doubt some seek to smother our flames with. Simply because your soul burns at a higher frequency then theirs. It blazes in such a bright hue it consumes them with jealousy.
Jealousy ...

Your fire wanes.You venture out onto the bridge in the dead of night to play your music into the wind. It doesn't hate you. It doesn't envy you. It doesn't want you to fail.
It simply embraces your song and invites you to play on. Notes fly away, doing no further harm to anyone elses ego. But that's just it  ... they fly away. They are not doing any good either. Somewhere, deep within -- a voice. "What the hell are you doing."

The Lion stirs, awakened from his forced slumber, and he ... he is angry. No he's pissed -- with you. How hastefully did you surrender your self -- Surrender your loves, your dreams, your will to fight.
Resign yourself to a pit of mediocrity and wait to die? Like hell you will! The Lion turns his gaze back to you. Eyes. Those eyes. They penetrate your chest and find your heart, warming it, increasing its pace.
The Lion roars.

The sound hits you with so much force, it nearly bursts your eardrums. It rocks you back in your stance. Your feet are driven back by the force. They beg for traction, fight for grip. Once again -- that voice, "What are you going to do?" You turn your eyes skyward. They fix onto the summit you had once attempted.
"What are you going to do?"

On the Trane

God's Gift
Eastern Sun Rises
Send me Wisdom
Grant me Courage
Give me Strength
Allow me Peace
A new day, A new day

A Day's Challenges
World's Weight
Steady my Hands
Sturdy my Legs
Strengthen my back
Ensure my Grip
A new Day, A new Day

Troubles persist
Dark of Night Lingers
Remove the Sorry
Do Not Still the Heart
She Can't Steal the Heart
Please just Steel the Heart
Treacherous Thing the Heart
A new day, A new day

Of Flesh & Blood

A Fearful Man
A Fearless Spirit
A Torrential Mind
A Yearning Soul
A Timid Mouth Speaks
A new day, A new day

Been away ... Still tryin to slay this dragon

The Armour of God
Ephesians 6, 11-18
 
¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Hello all,

Last few months have been interesting. I have received a few more answers, a lot more questions and many more obstacles on my journey (bet you can relate). At any rate, while I have not been posting to the blog, I have been keeping a journal of my thoughts (thanx Laureen). In an order to catch you up I will likely be posting quite a bit for the next few days. I will even be posting some of my creative works (If you can call them that).

As always ALL honest words are welcome .. So tell me what you think.

Or, Just keep it to yourself ... It's whatever.

P.S. There's more to come about the dragon ...