Lennie and the Rabbit

I can't sleep.

Tumbling back and forth again and again, a constant image of Lennie Smalls' open hand keeps presenting itself.

Lennie, one of the main tragic characters in the classic novella "Of Mice and Men" had but one goal in his life: Help George Milton, the other protagonist, get their own plot of land in depression-era California. So he could take care of, and cuddle, rabbits. A simple goal for a simple man. The tragedy enters because Lennie, a physically impressive person of limited intelligence, does not know how to not be so forceful with his might. He indeed "does not know his own strength." Lennie is the pen and paper embodiment of coming on too strong.

I find myself in a relatable circumstance to our massive hero. Analogy is as follows:

Lennie is me, obviously. A real big dumby. Lovable, but he just don't get it.
The cuddly little bunny in this case is a new found relationship.
The open hand in this case is just how forceful I can be with how I feel.

Worst case, Lennie gets too excited to care for his new found rabbit, he closes his hand, to keep the bunny "safe," and he squeezes, ... once again he wonders the land looking for something worth nurturing.

Words of Wisdom From the Brus

After reading my post from a few days ago ... the one about me and Forrest ... One of my brothers says: "I'm convinced you're somewhere between a genius and borderline insane."

I could not agree more, unfortunately. (I sit back in my chair and smirk.)

From Ronin to Lover

 She puts color back to a world that had become monochrome. She opens windows to a heart boarded up some time ago.

I like the view.

 

Trying to remember, "turn my brain off and just be." But every time she hits me with that smile it gives me nerves. ...

So beautiful is her smile.

 

"Don't think too far ahead." Agreed. We pick a path to relationship that allows for scenery ... holding hands along the way.

I like the view

 

A surround sound of emotions and warmth floods my senses. The kick drum becomes my heart, It makes my head nod as I write. I dance to the rhythm of the song she sings. ...

A siren

 

She asked me to leave the lights off while she put on her clothes. If she only knew how sexy I really find her she'd blush.

A black woman's cheeks turning red ...

Speaking of cheeks.

 

Softness presses against firm attention. I rub her head, we embrace, her lips stick to mine as she pulls away. Trying to inhale every breathe she exhales I pull her closer into me. Every damn one. ...

The rest is none of your business.

 

The point of it all is simple. I'm falling in love with her.

DAMN ...

 

A warrior with no master equals Ronin.

No master equals no code.

A code equals responsibility to others.

Responsibility to her equals being myself ... She says,

"Just be yourself."

 Lies equal what I've told myself over time.

Truth must equal your master. ... A Ronin.

Simplicity of the complex

A recent conversation I had turned to a statement that I've used to describe my experiences in life ... let me say that again ... MY EXPERIENCES ... not myself. As you might expect, unfortunately, the exchange soon degenerated into an examination as to why I would call myself "dumb."

Simple minds simply over simplifying a complex subject, while at the same time complicating the simplicity of the beautiful struggle, which is life. Drawing breathe every few seconds is both a major miracle and a testament to the greatness of the creator.

I digress ...

The comparison is that I've lived a life similar to Forrest Gump. Superficially, the statement is a comparison to vast experiences that he had and the many points in history he intersected on the roads of his life. More deeply, it's an assertion of the best part of Forrest's being. He knew that he didn't know.

That paraphrased quote taken from Socrates is A) one of my favorite sayings and B) a statement that far too many people do not take enough heed to. Mankind is far to full of itself. We are so smart and have everything under control ... except everything we fucking touch ...

I digress ...

I strive to keep things simple. I love God, because to do so is to love yourself. We are made in his image. I love my mother, because she carried me and is the living connection to the vast power of the universe. I love my Father, because his example gave me a beacon of how to become a man, and it still shines to show me the path to keep. I love the rest of my family, because they each represent a small jigsaw piece that combines to reveal the total picture of who I really am. I'm falling in love with a woman, because ...

I am about to digress ...

The (British) Saga continues ... Or is that Japanese Saga

The heart of an artist, a creator of something, can at times be rather fickle.

 I have been rather silent over the past several years. I guess I was just too busy learning ... about me, about family, about friends, about success and failure, about women ... Nope, still don't know a damn thing about women. At times I'm not sure I care to learn about them either, but I digress (more on that at a later date).

Funny, when I initially set out to write this blog I was doing so to "grab peoples attention" make a world I felt was passing me by take notice of me and my talents, abilities and so forth. I realize now that was stupid. Excuse my language, but who really gives a shit what other people think. I'm doing this blog for me now. I don't care if no one else reads it.

Initially, I had thoughts that this blog would be updated once or twice a week and "run" similarly to TV series. Yeah, that was naive. As it turns out, this serial will run more like a British TV show. A show from across the pond will air new programing for several weeks straight, then it will go on hiatus for six months to a year ... Or maybe that's the Japanese, but their shows are just weird.

At any rate ... on with the show. ... The "show" is life.