Writer's Block Therapy
Trying to get through writer's mental constipation, a REALLY bad case too, so I am just going to put thoughts down until I jar something loose.

Session 2

What am I MORE afraid of losing?

On the surface it would seem to be so very simple. I profess my feelings for you to anyone who will listen. I tell everyone within earshot that I would do anything for you. I claim to be fearless about showing my love for you. But when it comes down to it, I do love something more than you.

No it is not myself. In fact quite the opposite is true. I am more afraid of losing my last spec of hope. This fear keeps me frozen in place in this game of life. You see, as long as I don't attempt to make it as a writer, then there is no way that I can fail. An opportunity can never be lost if it is never attained. There I've said it. I don't want to truly try. I have been so conditioned to subdue the fighter in me, just as a means to survive.

Tupac said that by the time a black man reaches the age of 30 in America he usually has had all the fight beat out of him. Things got so bad with me that I just tried to disassociate myself from my history, my story. Now I have a problem ... you.

You have no place in your life for a coward, as it should be
You are a warrior queen, and you have to find your equal, as it should be
I sold myself as an equal, but I had already abdicated, as I allowed it to be

So now I have a dilemma, chase the uncertain and prove myself as good as I think. All while having NO guarantee of finding you at the finish line. Or I can keep doing what I have been doing and lose you for sure.

Face my fear or lose all hope ...