Still wandering (Part 2)

(Please read Part 1 FIRST)


I believe in the Bible. In it is described fairly early how man has a need for companionship. It also covers that this need was meant to be filled, in part, by the love of a woman.

OK, let's review ... Bible, check; early passage, check (that's Genesis in case you don't know); man needs woman, check. So I feel pretty secure in seeking a certain kind of partnership with a woman. Why wouldn't I be, it's right there in the rule book!

Like now. I am currently in love with this woman. She has had some tough times with relationships. You know the story, It's almost like it should be on a T-shirt. "I have had all these relationships and all I have to show for it is this child and all this damn baggage!" I digress. I think I was pretty clear about what I wanted from the beginning, but I go over in my head how I probably should have gone about things. No wait, I got it! I should write up questionnaires ...

When I want to ask a woman out initially:

I (the undersigned), would like to have dinner, see a movie, go for a walk, or just otherwise hangout with the woman holding this document for the purpose of a potentially romantic connection. Please answer the following, TRUTHFULLY.

* Please list your age ____. (if younger than 26 years of age please return the questionnaire and have a nice day)

* Do you have a child? (if you have MORE than one child please return the questionnaire and have a nice day)

* Are you currently employed? (Answering no to this may not affect your eligibility. It probably won't even matter to me, but maybe it matters to you.)

*Do you still have contact with, seek to have contact with or desire to have contact with your ex? (If yes, are you sure you should be considering dating someone else?)

* Do you have a criminal record?

*Do you, or someone in your family, especially members that I may come in contact with, have a history of mental illness (If yes, please keep this paper, turn around and walk away.)

PLEASE UNDERSTAND that this is NOT an application for a platonic friendship. We are currently NOT accepting applications for those positions. It is understood that your agreeing to this date is not a guarantee of sex or any other kind of physical, emotional or mental connection, however you understand that failure to answer truthfully or abide by the afore written page will result in immediate termination of relationship. If you are unwilling or unable to agree with this document, please return it, turn and walk away. And have a nice life, or as best you can.

Of course I would have to write up more documents as the relationship progressed. One for the end of the first date. One for the negotiations for the start of the "Girlfriend"/"Boyfriend" phase of the relationship. And so on, and so on ... At lease when things go sideways I have written proof of where I was coming from. I'm just saying.

(End of Part 2)