Tales of a Cowardly Lion (God and Girlfriends part 2)

I do some of my best thinking driving on the interstate late at night …

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things that I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

COURAGE

It should never be underestimated a man’s ability to bullshit himself into thinking any fantasy he has created is in fact reality. All you need then is a woman who doesn’t want to deflate his ego or hurt his feelings (or his fragile psyche) with the sharpness of the blade of truth and you’ve got the recipe for some great tragic theater.

Truth is my own worst fear is to be alone. To live my whole life, to travel to all the ends of the earth, live to be one hundred and ten years old and never find the woman I'm meant to spend it with. Now I know what you are thinking, come on G, you and that big head of yours are over thinking the whole situation. Yeah, maybe you are right. But do you ever think about how often we humans manage to live alone even in the trappings of what those on the outside would consider a happy relationship? Imagine a marriage where the husband and wife spend more time arguing or just not even speaking to each other, than they ever do truly loving and sharing themselves with their mate. Or a relationship where days transpire between communications and when the parties do “talk” it’s via text (LOL smiley face! LOL smiley face!). Let’s not forget the favorite male archetype of the “playa.” He is so incapable, so unwilling or (more likely) so afraid of being vulnerable to a woman that he tries to keep a harem filled with “back up plans.” I’m guilty of at least two of these – I’ll let you figure out which two.

Cowardice

Chris Rock hit the nail on the head with his famous “friend zone” diatribe. If we are being honest, most (I repeat MOST) men would tell women -- if you are not related to us or married to a really good friend or family member of ours we’ve thought about you in an intimate setting. (Come on now, I know it’s not just me!) So imagine how deflating it is to have a woman say “I see you as a friend.” How is a man supposed to handle that? I know my personal response has been to weaponize a women’s idea of friendship against her. I’ve refused to be friends with any women. Let me say that again, until about a month ago I’ve not considered myself friends with ANY woman I’ve known. She was a relative, a friendly acquaintance or just some chick I knew. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the women I’ve managed to get myself romantically entangled with. How selfish right? It’s that mentality that lent itself to the disposition of “dating” three or more women at the same time.

I guess deep down I just didn’t (and still don’t really) want to get caught holding the emotional bag if our “relationship” didn’t work. So I would juggle three, four, five “friends” at the same time. Guess I enjoyed the idea of tossing multiple daggers in the air and trying to catch them again. I’m only now coming to realize just how alone that behavior has really made me …